Bad Pick Up Lines That Are Funny

If you have no fear of potentially being embarrassed, then these corny pick-up lines are for you. Use them discreetly and wisely, and above all, don't say you found these pick-up lines here.

You know it's a fine line between saying something cute and clever and saying something that will make eyes roll.

13 Best Corny Pick Up Lines

1.) If I had to rate you on a scale of 1 to 10, I'd rate you a 9 because I am the one you're missing.

2.) Are you Australian? Because you meet all of my koala-fications. (Deliver this line with your best Crocodile Dundee accent.)

3.) I heard a thud. Did you just drop from heaven? (Hmmm…just might work.)

4.) I know this is going to sound cheesy, but together we'd rock. (Really? Just really?)

5.) You must be a love ninja because you snuck into my heart. (This will make them cry.)

6.) I'll give you three wishes if your first wish is for me. (I'm not sure, but I think Aladdin tried this once.)

Flirtatious, Romantic Captions

7.) Do you know what you would really look beautiful in? My arms. (Give it a try, and let me know what happens.)

8.) Somebody calls the cops because it has got to be illegal to look as good as you. (It doesn't get much cheesier than this.)

9.) If you were a library book, I'd check you out. (This might elicit a groan.)

10.) Was that an earthquake, or did you just rock my world? (Again, try not to laugh.)

11.) You must be a professional boxer because you are a knockout. (Actually, it works for girls and guys.)

12.) How are things in heaven because? You must be an angel. (The angel thing is always a good fallback.)

13.) I think I may need glasses because all I can see is you. (This only works if you don't wear glasses.)

Cheesy Conversation Starters

Women and men can spot false sincerity from across the room, but especially women. George Burns said, "Sincerity – if you can fake it, you've got it made." The problem is the faking part. A prospective romantic interest will instinctively know when you are faking it.

If you can deliver the line with honesty and seriousness, you might get away with it. But starting with a pick-up line that is already bordering on false sincerity, you have a difficult task, and you might just come off as corny.

14.) You are definitely the answer to my prayers, and God sent me here.

15.) Pinch me. You're so hot I must be dreaming.

16.) Even if I searched every corner of Google, I couldn't find someone as beautiful as you.

17.) Either the furnace is broken, or you're so hot you're melting the room.

18.) I think your beauty would last to infinity and beyond.

19.) We're not matching socks, but I think we'd make a great pair.

20.) You're brighter than the sun and lovelier than the moon.

21.) Your lips are like skittles, and I want to taste the rainbow.

22.) It must feel strange being the most beautiful girl in the room.

23.) I'm lost, can you give me directions to your heart?

24.) I would say God bless you, but it looks like he already did.

Funny Pick Up Lines

25.) There must be something wrong with my cell phone because it doesn't have your number on it.

26.) Life without you is like a broken pencil. It's pointless.

27.) Are you lost? Heaven is a long way from here.

28.) If looks could kill, I'd be dead right now.

29.) Here's a proposition, I'll kiss you, and if you don't like it, you can return it.

30.) Kiss me if I'm wrong, we drive on the left side of the road.

31.) Can you add me to your "to do" list?

32.) I already wrote it in my diary, so kiss me to make the entry true.

33.) How'd you like to feel my shirt? They're made of boyfriend material.

34.) I went to my doctor, and he told me I have a serious deficiency of Vitamin U.

35.) You are so sweet that you're giving me a toothache.

36.) I currently live in my parents' house, can I move in with you?

37.) Your face must be magnetic because it pulled me over here.

38.) I swear you must be a model because I've seen you on the cover of Vogue.

39.) Sorry to bother you but do you know what time it is? My watch stopped when I got next to you.

40.) Yes, it's true, I am Mr. Right.

Have Fun With It

Nothing is worse than saying something that's meant to be funny, and it falls flat. Whatever you do, don't start your pick-up line with "this is going to make you laugh." In a situation where you're trying to initiate a conversation with a prospective love interest, you want to make the full impact with you're opening line.

Again, if you pick a funny pick-up line that really isn't funny, you're going to come off as corny (the kiss of death, forget any real kissing.) One thing to do is get a solid read on your audience. Is the person you want to chat with serious, fun-loving, quirky, or shy.

You'll need a slightly different approach for all those types, but one universal principle may help. Don't be offensive and deliver your line with gusto. Have fun!

Punny Pick Ups

A good pun can be very effective, but a bad pun can be corny. A bad pun might be "going vegetarian is a missed steak."

While a good pun (even usable in a social setting) might be "do you want a kiss (and while the victim has a shocked expression on their face, pulling out a bag of Hershey's kisses. Use puns wisely, and they can be an effective conversational weapon. Use them poorly and go home alone.

42.) Are you French because Eiffel for you?

43.) If you were words on a page, you'd be fine print.

44.) Do you like science because I've got my eye on you?

45.) Are you a banana because I find you a-peeling.

46.) If you were a triangle, you'd be a cute one.

47.) Are you from Tennessee because you're the only ten I see?

48.) If you were a fruit, you'd be a fine apple.

49.) Are you Israeli 'cause you Israeli hot?

50.) You must be from Starbucks because I like a latte.

51.) I seem to have lost your number. What was it again?

52.) You must be a broom because you swept me off my feet.

Good Ice Breakers

53.) Baby, if you were words on a page, they'd be calling you "FINE Print."

54.) I don't believe in love at first sight, but I'm willing to make an exception in your case.

55.) Honey, are you a parking ticket? Because you've got "fine" written all over you.

56.) Do you mind if I follow you home? My parents always told me to follow my dreams.

57.) Sorry for staring… I thought your face was a work of art.

58.) There must be something wrong with my eyes. I can't take them off you.

59.) I seem to have misplaced my phone number. Can I have yours?

60.) I'm writing a book. (Her: What kind?) A phone book and it's missing your number.

61.) Are you a camera? 'Cause every time I look at you, I smile.

62.) Are you from Memphis? Because you're the only Ten-I-See.

63.) When I look at you, I'm reminded of a campfire. Super hot, and I want s'more.

64.) If you were a library book, I'd check you out.

65.) Are you religious? Because you're the answer to all my prayers.

66.) Roses are red. Violets are blue, how would you like it if I came home with you?

67.) Are you French? Because Eiffel for you.

Corniest Pick Ups

68.) I'm going for a walk… will you hold this? (hold out your hand)

69.) Have you any raisins? No? Well, how about a date?

70.) Can I take a photo of you? I want to share with Santa what I want for Christmas.

71.) Tell your boyfriend he's a lucky guy.

72.) I think you dropped something? (Her: What?) Your standards… Hi, my name is…

73.) On a scale of 1 to 10, you're a 9. And, I'm the one you need.

Bad Pick Up Lines

74.) Wanna get lucky?
(Short and stupid, the answer is always going to be "no.")

75.) What's a nice girl like you doing in a place like this?
It (Possibly the most over-used pick-up line of all time. Don't say it, just don't say it.)

76.) If you have a few more drinks, I just might start looking good.
(This only works if you pay for the drinks.)

77.) Are there any more at home like you?
(This only works if you're the wingman or wing woman.)

78.) It's handy that I have a library card because I'm totally checking you out.
(If you want any chance for this to work, you should hold your library card visibly in your hand when you deliver it.)

79.) Gee, you don't sweat much for a girl your size.
(There is no way you can talk your way out of this pick-up line)

80.) If you were a burger at McDonald's, you'd be a McGorgeous!
(Huh? Mickey-D's probably isn't the restaurant you want to associate a possible mate with.)

81.) (Hold your hand out and say…) Do my fingers smell funny?
(Nothing funny about it, and it's going to get you nowhere fast.)

82.) I've had a fair amount to drink, and you don't look too bad.
(Again, no way to talk yourself out of this hole.)

83.) Of course, I'm acting nuts. You drive me crazy.
(If you do act a little crazy, it enhances the effect, but act too crazy, and it's embarrassing.)

Dumb Pick-Up Lines

84.) If you were a steak, you would be well done. (Groan.)

85.) Where have you been all my life? (This line will never work.)

86.) Are you cake because I want a piece of that? (This embarrassing pick-up line could get you slapped.)

87.) Your place or mine? (This pick-up line will get you no place.)

Cheesiest Pick-Up Lines

Sometimes a pick-up line can be just plain confusing. What is the person trying to say? They said what? It could be just a simple misunderstanding. A simple line like "Your hair smells nice" can be totally misconstrued. Especially if the person delivering the line has his face buried in your hair. Creepy, just creepy.

If the recipient of the pick-up line says, "Huh?" You're in trouble. Or if she says, "what does that even mean?" You're also in a bad place. So, let's give you some examples of confusing pick-up lines that you should not use at any cost.

88.) Are you at a 45-degree angle because you're a cutie?

89.) Can I be your personal teddy bear and sleep on your bed?

90.) There's a magnet in my clothes, and I'm attracted to your buns of steel.

91.) Girl, you got more legs than a bucket of chicken!

92.) You've got the whitest teeth I've ever seen!

93.) What's your favorite silverware because I like to spoon!

94.) My two favorite letters of the alphabet are E.Z.

95.) Your Daddy must be a drug lord because you're dope.

Stupid Chat Up Lines

96.) I've got a thirst, baby, and you smell like Gatorade.

97.) Excuse me, but I think you dropped something. My jaw.

98.) Is your mom a chicken because you are egg-cellent!

99.) I feel like a Corvette because I couldn't stop myself from accelerating myself over to you.

Bad Pick-Up Lines for Girls

Do you know the pick-up line that makes you scrunch up your face and maybe gives you the shivers? That's a cringe-worthy pick-up line. It can be suggestive, overly flirtatious, or just plain stupid.

Some of these pick-up lines could do more damage than good. A short pick-up line like "Hi, you'll do" can be just as ill-received as a line like, "Is your last name Ritz? Cause you're a real cracker."

Face it. If you have the audacity to use a cringe worth pick-up line, you just may be out of the game. Here are some cringe-worthy pick-up lines. Read and use them at your own risk.

100.) I feel like a pizza—a pizza you.

101.) Was your mother a beaver? Because damn!

102.) You must be a tower because Eiffel for you.

103.) Hello, the voices in my head told me to come to see you.

104.) This must be a gallery because you are a work of art. (Try not to laugh when you say this.)

105.) I believe in God because you're the answer to my prayers.

106.) Quick, pass me the inhaler. You took my breath away.

Creepy

107.) You're hotter than the bottom of my laptop.

108.) I may not be Fred Flintstone, but I bet I can make your bedrock.

109.) Do you like bacon? Wanna strip?

110.) Hey, baby, do you have any cavities? I can check it out with my tongue.

Horrible Pick Up Lines

This is probably the worst subset of the bad pick-up lines. If you are dumb enough to think that one of these lines will work, you need professional help. Just imagine delivering the line…."You smell. We should go take a shower together."

Inappropriate and offensive, a twofer, but not the kind you want. An offensive pick-up line will get the proverbial door slammed in your face at the speed of light. Just stay away from the Pickup lines listed below, and you should be okay.

111.) Do you work at Starbucks because I love you a latte?

112.) Good thing I'm wearing gloves because you are too hot to handle.

113.) Are you a parking ticket? Because you have "fine" written all over you.

114.) What is on the menu? Me – N – U!

Worst Pick Up Lines

115.) Other than being beautiful, what do you do for a living?

116.) Are you tired? You've been running through my mind all night.

117.) Do you like plums? How about a date?

118.) I've got my iPhone, and you have your phone number… imagine the possibilities.

Bad Pick-Up Lines from the Movies

The movies are notorious for using pick-up lines, both good and bad. At Greeting Card Poet, we watch many movies, and we'd say that the bad pick-up lines outnumber the good pick-up lines.

Many of you remember Renée Zellweger saying, "You had me at hello," to Tom Cruise. But it seems like there are more cheesy and inappropriate pick-up lines in the movies.

119.) "Do you wash your pants in Windex™? Because I can see myself in them."
Mike Meyers from the movie Austin Powers – one of many terrible pick-up lines that Austin Powers uses.

120.) "You give me premature ventricular contractions; you make my heart skip a beat."
Natalie Portman delivers this line in the movie No Strings Attached.

121.) "We should mate, uh, date! I said we should date sometimes, you know, socially."
Ben Stiller in the movie Dodgeball.

122.) "I just want to tell you that you look like my dog."
From the movie 17 Again.

123.) "Your eyes are amazing, do you know that? You should never shut them, not even at night."
Oliver Martinez to Diane Lane in the movie Unfaithful.

124.) "I don't know how to put this, but I'm kind of a big deal."
Will Ferrell in Anchorman.

125.) You're everything I never knew I always wanted.
Mathew Perry in Only Fools Rush In.

Takeaways

Even a classic like Gone With the Wind had this line delivered by Clark Gable's character Rhett Butler to Vivien Leigh's Scarlett O'Hara, "You need kissing badly. That's what's wrong with you. You should be kissed often and by someone who knows how."

Not a particularly bad pick-up line, but certainly inappropriate (it was a kinder, gentler time when everything wasn't so politically correct.) So, enjoy these bad pick-up lines from the movies. Just don't use them.

General Delivery Tips

In pick-up lines, corny can be good occasionally because it can bring on a giggle or a smile which is a great icebreaker. But, as always, be careful and choose your corny pickup line wisely. You only get one chance to make a good impression.

A cringe-worthy pick-up line might be old-fashioned or tiresome, and the reaction could vary from mildly amused to simply painful. Corny pick-up lines are typically cheesy, oftentimes falsely sincere. Many try to be funny but don't hit home. A pun is commonly the basis for a corny pickup line.

Definition of Corny

What is the definition of corny anyway? Technically the definition is cheap, unpleasant, and blatantly inauthentic. It's that last part that's the worst… inauthentic.

Here you're trying to strike up a conversation with an attractive gal or guy, and you're perceived as inauthentic because you used a cheesy pick-up line. Corny and cheesy, the romantic double whammy.

How to avoid being too corny

We always try to be cool, but often we try so hard that we wind up being corny and uncool. Try to avoid being hackneyed, nothing worse than the moan or long pause that comes after delivering a corny pick-up line.

You just don't what to be "that guy or gal" at the bar who isn't hip, uncool, and delivers an overused pick-up line. You don't want to be too silly, just silly enough to gain the attention of the person you want to flirt with. Whatever you do, don't start a pick-up line with I know it sounds corny, but…if you do that, you're setting yourself up for failure.

The best way to not be corny is to try and establish trust with another person. If they trust you, they will believe you, and you won't come off as corny. Also, best to eliminate the use of cheesy, falsely sincere, not funny, or corny puns from your vocabulary. If you are not corny, you will also avoid corny's uglier cousin: sappy.

Sincerity Works

Remember, if the corny approach doesn't work, fall back on sincerity (or, even start there) with these two classics:

A.) Hello, how are you?

B.) Hi, my name is … (and say your name).

Like starting a joke at the beginning of a speech, any pick-up line can be high risk. These tamer approaches may work better for many. Good luck.

By Tim Moodie

Tim has been asked to be corny at times for various assignments as a copywriter and creative director. Sure, he can play that role. But with a man born so cool, it's a stretch.

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